For one thing, you have the option there to customize your Fleshlight to your specific preferences. You start by picking the color of the outer casing, then you can pick your favorite hole to stick it in – pussy, mouth or ass. Lastly, and most importantly, you can pick the inside texture. It can just be a basic, flat sheath or something super-tight, or it might have wild textures to really stimulate your cock. You won’t get that kind of customization from adult toy stores, so try the website!

The Autoblow pretty much sells itself. It’s as simple as saying, “It’s a blowjob machine.” The Autoblow has a sleeve of real feeling flesh like a lot of male sex toys. Where it really stands out is that they’ve made it motorized so it does all the work for you. It bobs up and down just like a girl giving head, and what’s even better is that you get to control the speed and how long you go for. You’ve got to spread the word on this thing with an adult sex toy party.

The big one is the “real feel” synthetic skin that they use to make the toy. Pretty much any male sex toy claims to feel realistic, but most of them don’t have anything on the Fleshlight. You slip your dick in this thing and you’ll instantly see what everyone’s talking about. On top of the realistic feel, Fleshlight have specially textured insides that are designed for crazy stimulation. It sounds crazy but this is one adult sex toy that may be better than the real thing!

Two words: super orgasm. That’s the Aneros’ specialty. You stick this toy up your ass, where it uses your own body movements while you’re masturbating or having sex to stimulate your prostate gland. They call the prostate the male g-spot and for good reason. It may sound odd but once you get going with it, this thing will blow your mind (and your load). Next time you’re at the local adult sex toy shop, look for the Aneros. You won’t regret it.

That’s right, the realistic feeling silicone sheath is powered by a motor, so all you have to do is turn it on and then enjoy your simulated blowjob. The only thing you’ll need to use your hands for is controlling the speed with the handy little remote that comes with it. The $100 asking price may seem steep, but being able to get the perfect BJ anytime and anywhere you want is absolutely priceless. Check out an adult sex toy store and pick one of these bad boys up today.

In reality, I didn’t want an i-pod. I wanted to get me a blowjob machine, a friend of mine bought one recently and gave it a glowing review. So anyway, I get the money for my birthday and look suitably starry eyed with gratitude. I stuck the money on my credit card and for the final time read up a few more Autoblow reviews and decided to order the Autoblow online.

A week goes by and the delivery guy arrives with the package. Luckily I had not told her too much about the i-pod, and even better she knows nuts about them.  I brought in the plain package and said ‘oh it’s arrived!’

“It’s huge” she said I thought these iphone things were supposed to be small!” I told her it also came with speakers and dashed upstairs to open the package in the privacy of my bedroom.

It was way too risky to try out the Autoblow there and then so I took my existing ipod downstairs and acted all gooey and happy about it. She bought it. Later that night, much later, I slipped the AA batteries into the Autoblow, it looked more like a transparent penis pump to me, but anyway.

I lubed my cock which was rock hard in anticipation, and plunged in. Clamping it on top of my cock I enjoyed the clingy sensation of the silicone sleeve inside and switched on the machine. Up and down on my cock went the silver beads, making a noise like a sewing machine. I have to say it felt really good, I was getting more and more turned on, the sexy friction kept going then I turned up the speed dial and came big…three tissue job. Way to go.

My mom wanted to see the speakers, so I had to tell her they weren’t working. I packed up the Autoblow packaging pretending to go mail it.  My secret sucking machine is safely tucked in the drawer under my bed drawer. Visit the website: www.roboticblowjob.com

The Motif Vibe are a new breed of expensive sex toys aimed at style-conscious women and men. “They’re small, they’re classy, they feel nice – and they don’t look out of place alongside an iPhone in a Burberry handbag,” so the philosophy goes. Despite the recession, women and men are buying them in droves.

At Kiki de Montparnasse (you just know nothing’s going to come cheap with a pretentious name like that!) they sell egg shaped vibrators to celebrities at $135 a pop.

What’s more, all coyness about buying and giving sex toys as a gift is long gone. Sex toys are the new flowers. This is reflected in rising sales in several swish new sex stores including Sh!, an exclusive women’s sex shop where sales are up 35%. At JimmyJane, the American adult sex toy supplier to the rich and famous, where Kate Moss paid $325 for a gold plated vibrator and prices go up to $3,500, sales are also rising rapidly by 35%.

And despite the recession, at Lelo, the Swedish manufacturer of aesthetically designed vibrators, sales are up an astounding 200% year on year.

At the pricier end of the market it seems women are being seduced by clever marketing. First, they are told that their lives aren’t complete without the designer handbag, then the 4in designer heels, and now they have been told that they have to spend hundreds on a designer sex toy as well.

And the rationale behind the sale is, if you can afford it, why buy an adult sex toy rendered from a biohazard of chemical toxins in China, when for $300, you can have a hand-tooled 24k limited edition from Jimmyjane.

The world awaits David and Victoria Beckham’s range of his and hers designer sex toys.

The Autoblow has a pleasingly tight orifice to penetrate before entering the pleasurable inner sleeve of soft silicone. Instead of stealing inferior love dolls, he could have had a hands-free blowjob expertly delivered in the privacy of his own bedroom. No walls, windows or laws broken. Now, instead of raping love dolls,  his fellow inmates will be passing him around like some kind of anal male masturbator on legs.

If you have not seen or heard of the Autoblow it’s time you got acquainted. The Autoblow asks nothing of you, no pumping, cranking or squeezing at all. You just sit back, set the controls and the Autoblow takes care of business, expertly, professionally and uncomplainingly.

Let’s just hope when the pussy burglar comes out he decides to go straight. Straight to www.roboticblowjob.com and order an Autoblow to keep himself out of further mischief.

Well, Jungle Jane is an adult sex toy with three fully mountable orifices. She can take it in the pussy, the butt or the mouth. It seems the burglar likes rear entry best because he has used a rear entry to break into not only the adult sex toy store but also a neighbouring bar.

Jungle Jane is an adult sex toy which could never be accused of false advertising. The tagline on the box reads ‘she’ll make you scream for more’. Our pussy burglar friend is even willing to risk a jail term for more.

However, some people are taking The Cairns Post to task for running such an article about the adult sex toy store. One lady writes: “You have sunk to the extreme depths of gutter press sensationalism in printing this story and banner headlines on your front page…surely there is enough “news” of a far more tasteful nature for you to choose from for use on the front page. How are you helping in portraying Cairns in such a manner to our visitors from overseas and interstate?”

Speaking of good taste, another contributor wrote ‘Of course Muslim love dolls blow themselves up.’

Business owners in Cairns believe the same culprit is responsible for break-ins and till thefts at the Sapphire Bar and no less than three break-ins at an adult sex toy shop in Spence Street.

His method of entry is to smash through walls and squeeze through tight holes – and that’s not limited to just the walls.

The owner of the adult sex toy shop, who wished to be named only as Vogue, said that in a first unreported break-in, the man had stolen five dolls and had sex with one of them.

“He has been taking the dolls out the back of the adult sex toy store, blowing them up using the dolls and leaving them in the alley,” he said.

“It is totally bizarre. It is a real concern that someone like that is out on the street.”

Adult sex toy store owner Vogue said a sex toy also went missing in the second break-in and that the offender had a liking for the doll model named “Jungle Jane”, which had been taken on both occasions.

He said he was dumbfounded that the burglar also had the “weird” habit of cleaning up the mess he had made after entering the building.

The burglar again smashed through a wall in the roof area of the shop on either Monday night or early yesterday morning but was scared off by a newly installed alarm system.

Vogue and David Sharman, the owner of the Sapphire Bar on Lake St that has a rear entry in the same lane as the adult shop, both believe they have been targeted by the same thief.