“What do you want for your birthday?” my mom asked me recently. “Money” I said. She wanted to actually buy me something, but I told her I had my eye on a new i-pod and she wouldn’t have a clue what to choose, so best to just give me the money.

In reality, I didn’t want an i-pod. I wanted to get me a blowjob machine, a friend of mine bought one recently and gave it a glowing review. So anyway, I get the money for my birthday and look suitably starry eyed with gratitude. I stuck the money on my credit card and for the final time read up a few more Autoblow reviews and decided to order the Autoblow online.

A week goes by and the delivery guy arrives with the package. Luckily I had not told her too much about the i-pod, and even better she knows nuts about them.  I brought in the plain package and said ‘oh it’s arrived!’

“It’s huge” she said I thought these iphone things were supposed to be small!” I told her it also came with speakers and dashed upstairs to open the package in the privacy of my bedroom.

It was way too risky to try out the Autoblow there and then so I took my existing ipod downstairs and acted all gooey and happy about it. She bought it. Later that night, much later, I slipped the AA batteries into the Autoblow, it looked more like a transparent penis pump to me, but anyway.

I lubed my cock which was rock hard in anticipation, and plunged in. Clamping it on top of my cock I enjoyed the clingy sensation of the silicone sleeve inside and switched on the machine. Up and down on my cock went the silver beads, making a noise like a sewing machine. I have to say it felt really good, I was getting more and more turned on, the sexy friction kept going then I turned up the speed dial and came big…three tissue job. Way to go.

My mom wanted to see the speakers, so I had to tell her they weren’t working. I packed up the Autoblow packaging pretending to go mail it.  My secret sucking machine is safely tucked in the drawer under my bed drawer. Visit the website: www.roboticblowjob.com

Our pussy burglar friend in Cairns Australia (see Stolen Kisses) was apprehended and sent to prison for stealing and abusing love dolls. While doing time, he should stop and reflect on how all this could have been avoided if he had simply ordered an Autoblow Blast, the world’s first fully automatic blowjob machine. The burglar’s modus operandi was to squeeze through tight holes to gain entry to the pleasures of the Sex Store. Instead of risking life and liberty he could have done exactly the same thing behind closed doors with the Autoblow.

The Autoblow has a pleasingly tight orifice to penetrate before entering the pleasurable inner sleeve of soft silicone. Instead of stealing inferior love dolls, he could have had a hands-free blowjob expertly delivered in the privacy of his own bedroom. No walls, windows or laws broken. Now, instead of raping love dolls,  his fellow inmates will be passing him around like some kind of anal male masturbator on legs.

If you have not seen or heard of the Autoblow it’s time you got acquainted. The Autoblow asks nothing of you, no pumping, cranking or squeezing at all. You just sit back, set the controls and the Autoblow takes care of business, expertly, professionally and uncomplainingly.

Let’s just hope when the pussy burglar comes out he decides to go straight. Straight to www.roboticblowjob.com and order an Autoblow to keep himself out of further mischief.